Social
gatherings are more than often fraught with cheerful greetings and
ice-breaking questions such as: “What do you do?” or “Where do you
work?” Gillian Hollenberg, known to her GS brethren as Gillian Wachsman,
sampled many professions before choosing one tried and true: homemaker,
or, to be politically correct, domestic engineer.
Although
motherhood does not ordinarily reap monetary benefits and impress
strangers at social gatherings, the many other rewards found in
the intimate exchanges between parent and child are enough to satisfy
this professional athlete and teacher.
Gillian
arrived at the doorsteps of Lewisohn Hall after a highly successful
career as a “pairs” figure skater. She was a national champion and
a member of the Olympic team. While at GS, she asserted her intellectual
prowess in her chosen area of study — Medieval and Renaissance Studies,
which she had to create. Gillian graduated from Columbia University,
School of General Studies, in 1994. She left College Walk with a
B.A. and a flourishing romance. Gillian met her husband Henri while
studying at GS through his younger sister, who was an exchange student
in a Ph.D. program at Columbia studying American Literature. Henri
is now a pediatric doctor in France, and he has his own practice.
Two
days after commencement, Gillian packed her bags and moved to France,
leaving all that was familiar to her, and started a new life. She
said that the move was difficult for her and her family. I asked
her how she coped with the language barrier. She had already started
her preparation here at GS, taking first-year French as an elective
her senior year, and the first thing she did when she arrived in
Paris was take a four-month intensive French course. Her first job
was teaching ice skating, but she soon found out that it was not
to her liking. Gillian found that the sports are run differently
in France. Athletic coaching in the United States is geared toward
the individual, while in France it is geared toward the group. After
this, Gillian started to teach English. She did this until she became
pregnant with her first child.
Gillian’s
current position as domestic engineer is a full-time job that requires
extended hours of service or, as she nicely put it, “overtime.”
With two boys, ages 4 and 2, and another son expected in May 2001,
Gillian has put in plenty of overtime. Sick days are not an option,
and the work goes on vacation with her. We even had to schedule
our phone interview during the only free hour she had during her
busy day. Also, Gillian discovered that motherhood is a hands-on
career. There is no training or educational preparation prior to
its occurrence; therefore, you’re in a constant state of learning.
What’s more interesting is that Gillian, who is American born and
bred, has taken on this role in a country foreign to her, France.
When
I asked Gillian about her experiences in France, she replied, “I
had to learn how to eat lunch.” I was a bit puzzled by her response,
and then we both laughed. She began to explain that in France lunch
is the main meal of the day, much like dinner here in the United
States. Instead of eating a McValue Meal-to-go out of a paper bag
while walking back to the office, the French basically shut down
the entire country each day for a two-hour, formal lunch. She explained
that for her, this is family time. This is the time that her husband
comes home from work and the family eats a meal together. Gillian
spoke about the way the week was structured differently than in
the United States. School for children runs from Monday to Saturday,
with Wednesday and Sunday off. Since the school week follows this
schedule, so do a majority of the working parents.
During
our phone conversation, I asked about her experiences as a woman.
She responded that France is a Latin country; therefore, it is male
dominated but “the woman” is very respected for her femininity.
To be feminine is to be admired. After a few months in France, she
recalled observing that French women almost always wear skirts.
She did point out that this mindset has been a bit frustrating for
her since she was raised to be a strong American woman. She told
me of a recent exchange in which she and her husband met with a
contractor to review the final changes on the floor plan for their
new home. She was standing in front of her husband and, when she
extended her hand and courteous American smile to greet the contractor,
he quite abruptly passed her by and went directly for her husband’s
hand. She said she got angry at first, but then decided that “you
have to take the good with the bad.”
Gillian
maintains that the gender disparity balances out. She stated that
the society as a whole is more geared toward accommodating and recognizing
the woman as the caretaker. I was amazed when Gillian told me that
in France, maternity leave begins six weeks prior to the child’s
due date and ends (pay attention ladies) three months after the
birth, and the entire four and one-half month period is paid leave.
In addition to this, the mother’s continued employment in her old
job is protected by law. She is guaranteed to have her job back.
Also, if there are any complications during the pregnancy, the woman
is paid two-thirds of her salary for any additional time off, and
the father of the child is permitted three days off with pay.
We
ended our discussion talking about the things she missed here in
the United States. Gillian replied that she missed simple pleasures
like watching television and listening to the radio. When her mother
flew to visit her and looked out the airplane window at the red
tiles that most French homes have on their roofs, she knew immediately
that she was flying over Europe. She compared the view to the land
of Babar, a character in a series of popular children’s books. The
last thing Gillian said before we hung up was that even after living
in France for seven years, she will always be a foreigner to the
French, and America will always be home.
